What is confidence??

What is Confidence

A hypothetical situation where 20 CEOs board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature Pilotless Technology: “It is an unmanned Aircraft.”

Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their Company's Software is running the Aircraft's Automatic Pilot System.

Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the Aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse!!

One CEO alone remains on board the Jet, seeming very calm indeed....!

Asked why he is so Confident in this first unmanned flight, he replies: "If it is the same Software that's developed by my Company's IT systems department, this Plane won't even Take Off!!!"

That is called Confidence!!!  

See what Software Engineer can do...!

There was a good old barber in a city. One day a florist goes to him
for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber
replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
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-
--
-
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a
"Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
-
-
--

A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he
again refuses to take the money.
The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
-
-
-
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another
"Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
--
-

A MNC employee goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the
barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
shop, guess what he finds there......


..


...

..
...

...

A Dozen MNC employees waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts
of Forwarded mail mentioning about free hair cut with the Google map showing the shop.

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in

The room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back

After 6 hours and then analyze

The situation.

If they are counting the

Bricks.

Put them in the accounts

Department.

If they are recounting them..

Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the

Whole place with the bricks.

Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the

Bricks in some strange order.

Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the

Bricks at each other.

Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping.

Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks

Into pieces.

Put them in information

Technology.

If they are sitting idle.

Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried

Different combinations, yet

Not a brick has

Been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for

The day.

Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the

Window.

Put them on strategic

Planning.

And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each

Other and not a single brick

Has been

Moved.

Congratulate them and put them

In

Top management

Never Worry how many people Dislike you...

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.

The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened.. He kept increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept coming home before him.

At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there.

An hour later.... The man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen is the cat there?" "Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife.

Frustrated the man said," Put that damn cat on the phone, I am lost and I need directions to reach home!!!

Moral:
"How much ever we dislike somebody, someday we will need their assistance.   So never worry how many people dislike you ... "

Sardarjiiiiiiiiiiiii....

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks "Tamil therima??"

Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.

Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.

Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.

Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?

Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating. ......

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Sardar at bar in New York .

Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"

Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"

Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the

other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says

YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the

exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father

in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,

SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE.. MY TRUE

FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.

Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".

Sardar thinks "how poetic"

Sardar says, "pass the custard you b@$!@7)".

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?

Sardar : liquid state.....

Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS..... ..

-------- -------- ----------- ---------- ------------ ------------ -------- ------------ ---------- --------

Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k

Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??

how much is DRIVING salary...?

--------- ------------ ------------- ---------------- -------------- -------------- ------------

Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at

night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light

is not needed!!!

------------ ------------ ------------- -------------- ------------- ------------- ---------------

Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend ' u said v will do register marriage

and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post

office....

Can u write a java code like this?

Can u write a java code like this?

Java to Tamil...! Is it right???

Java:
     public class Project 
   { 
           public static void main(String args[]) 
           { 
                int a; 
                string b;
                if(a==0)
                      {
                        b = "Zero";
                      }
                      else
                      {
                        b = "Non-Zero";
                      } 
                      return; 
           } 
   }
Tamil:

WHY INDIANS GET ATTACKED ABROAD

WHY INDIANS GET ATTACKED ABROAD

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the Fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:
'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.

Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863', said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed.
Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than
you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F**k the Indians,'

Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?'
Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? S**k this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to The teacher , 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.' Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson (RIP) to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!' And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was the American people, November 4th, 2008".(recession)