Need a KISS???

One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home.

As they were about to wish each other good night at the front door, the
guy started feeling a little more romantic. With an air of confidence,
he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her
"Honey, would you give me a kiss ?"

Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

" Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
He asked grinning at her.

" No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on!

There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".

" No way, it's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".

" No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".

"Oh yes you can. Please?"

" No, no. I just can't" " I'm begging you ... "

Suddenly.....Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and

The girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled, And
in a sleepy voice she said,


" Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if
needed, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake
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"TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL.........."

 

 

Chicken Story (mind blowing climax)

A farmer rears twenty-five young hens and one old cock. As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market.

Old cock to Young cock : "Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.

Young cock : What you mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.

Old cock : Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you with some?

Young cock : No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.

Old cock : In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win you shall allow me to have one hen and if I lose you will have all.

Young cock :
O.K. What kind of competition?

Old cock: 50 meter run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters.

Young cock : No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.

Confidently, the following morning, the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off and when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark the Young cock chases him with all his might.

Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock back in a matter of seconds.
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Suddenly, Bang! ...... Before he could overtake the old cock, he was shot dead by the farmer, who cursed, "Hell ! This is the fifth GAY chicken I've bought this week !"

 

Copy & Paste...

 
A famous Inspirational Speaker Said :
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"Best Years of my life were spent in the Arms of a WOMAN who was not My WIFE".

Audience was in Shock & Silence.

He added :

"SHE WAS MY MOTHER"

Applause & Laughter!

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A Top celebrity tried to crack this at Home.

After  a   good 3-4 Drinks,  he  said  loudly  to  his  wife,  in the kitchen :

" Best Years of my Life were spent in the arms of a Woman who was not my wife !  

There was sudden silence !"
Standing for a Moment and trying hard to recall the 2nd Half of the sentence , he finally blurted out
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" Forget it ,  I can't remember who She was ".

By the time he regained his Senses, He was on a Hospital Bed recovering from Burns of Boiling Water.


Moral :
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DON'T   COPY   IF   YOU   CAN'T   PASTE.

Not all rules can be followed!

             

          A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office. 

"What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy. 

"John," the new guy replied.

She scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.

I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ...that's all.

I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight,   what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed, "Darling............ My name is John Darling."

"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is .……… "

 

The Husbands

           

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.

The first old guy says to the second guy, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.'

The second old guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.'

The first old guy says, 'Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?'

' The second old guy says, 'Well, she is 22 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing a short skirt. What does your wife look like?'

To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter, let's look for yours.'

Love story of Engineering student

A sad love story of an Engineering student……….
 
            A guy was deeply in love with his classmate.
 One day he proposed her by saying that he loved her a lot….
But she was angry and refused and threatened him that she'd complain to the Principal if he ever bothers her again.
One day the girl borrowed a text book from that boy and wrote a message “I love you too, I'm sorry to hurt you the other day. if u've forgiven me, please come and talk to me and never leave me.” in that book.
But the guy never talked to her.
4 yrs went away and nothing has happened..
 
Moral of the story:
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Engineering boys never open their books!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Domain knowledge

 There was this family with one kid. One day the mother was out and dad was in charge of the kid, who just turned three.

 Someone had given the kid a little 'tea set' as a birthday gift and it was one of his favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when kid brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea from father, kid's Mom came home.

 Dad made her wait in the living room to watch the kid bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!'

  

Mom waited, and sure enough, the kid comes down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then she says to him, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??'

....Mothers know!!

  

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Domain knowledge is very important!!! Else your supplier will trick you......